Merry freakin’ holidays

Bah.

The holidays are looming and instead of feeling merry and bright I find myself feeling crabby and full of spite. I know, I know: I have much to be thankful for. And I am. Thankful, that is… But the holiday spirit is completely evading me at the moment and I just feel like complaining. So I’m going to. Because this is my blog. pffft.

1. I still don’t have cards done, and it’s not looking like I’ll get them out before Christmas.

2. My hair is totally and completely driving me crazy. I have this piece in the center of my forehead that defies my attempts at controlling it, and instead falls straight down into my eyes. Plus, it is seriously fully of static.

3. My house overrunneth with clutter. Much of it is holiday-related, but a fair amount of it is teenager-related.

4. What is up with people who scuff their heels as they walk? STOP IT! PICK UP YOUR FEET!

5. I’m totally missing my mom. It’s been six years, but Christmas is still tough.

6. I’m totally missing my dad, too. I miss putting together a box of Christmas goodies for him. I miss getting his letters. I miss his jokes.

7. My beta, Max, ate the bottom feeder in my fish tank.

8. I think my car needs new shocks. And there’s a funny smell in it (probably mildew).

9. Why can’t people clean up after themselves? I’m skipping over kids with this rant and focusing on ADULTS, who should darned well know better. Like at work, why do people stack their dirty dishes in the sink instead of washing them? There is no magic dish fairy (I know, I’ve been waiting for one to appear at my house for twenty years).

10. What is up with dog walkers who let their dogs stretch their leashes all the way across the sidewalk, completely blocking it for anyone who happens to have the gall to want to walk on the sidewalk?

11. What is up with dog owners who don’t think that small dogs need to be trained? I don’t care if your dog only weighs two pounds, it should be trained to not jump up on people, to not drag the leash across the sidewalk, to not yap at everything that moves.

12. And why do owners of small dogs think it’s OK to bring them into stores and restaurants, just because they are tucked into ridiculous purses / bags / baby carriers? I would bet my new undies that those same people would scream bloody murder if I brought my 120-pound dog into the grocery store.

13. I’m also fed up with people who can’t park within the lines in a parking lot.

14. And people who block the grocery store aisle with their kids/cart/basket while they weigh the merits of Fat-Free Miracle Whip over the regular kind.

15. And parents that don’t pay attention to their kids in stores and totally ignore them knocking stuff off shelves, grabbing candy, shrieking, running amok, and disturbing grouchy folks like me who just want to buy Nyquil and get the heck out of there before the snot-factories crank their screams up another notch.

16. It’s cloudy and rainy, and some snow would be nice for the holidays. But no, it’s cloudy and rainy.

17. I need to iron about fifty gagillion blouses so that I have something to wear. People are starting to notice that I’ve been rotating the five no-wrinkle shirts in my wardrobe every week.

18. I really need to do something about my furry legs, but I can’t muster up the energy. Besides, it’s like built-in leg warmers right now.

19. The constant stream of candy, cookies, and other assorted goodies through the office is wreaking havoc with my ‘eat healthy’ plans. My willpower has been tested and breached.

20. It’s 78*F in my office, but some of my coworkers still have their space heaters cranked up to Hotter Than Hades.

I want to just sit in my comfy chair with a cup of tea and knit for a few days.

About wonkydonkey

You want random? You got it. Mostly knitting and gardening, with some home improvements, pets, baking, family, and the occasional bad joke thrown in for good measure.
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1 Response to Merry freakin’ holidays

  1. mumshomemadelove says:

    That was so freakin’ funny, haven’t laughed so much in an age…. thanks…luv D.

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