As my birthday draws near, I can’t help but reflect on my life a bit. I’m not quite 40 and I hope to live a good long while yet, but there has been a lot of change in my life over the past few years and I feel a touch of maturity setting in (whether by choice or force I don’t yet know). I find myself evaluating my choices, thinking about the future, and appreciating what life has handed out to me even though some of it has been extremely difficult.
I’ve lost several family members, a couple of friends, and pets. I’ve also gained family members, both in recent births and in the sense that I’ve gotten to know and love relatives that had previously been on the periphery of my world. I have a good circle of friends. I’m married to a fabulous man, and our children are growing into wonderful young people. Our little old house keeps us busy, frustrated, and entertained by turns. A multitude of hobbies fill any spare moments. My career is fulfilling. I have such a long list of goals, dreams, desires, and plans that I shall never grow bored.
All in all, I find a deep sense of peace in the current state of my life – though it is hectic, it is my life and I can either embrace it and be happy, or let myself fill up with worry and regret. Perhaps it’s the recent losses that make me appreciate what I have. Perhaps it’s the clock ticking me closer to middle age. Perhaps it’s the changing season. Whatever the reason, I choose to make the best of what’s been draped around my shoulders.
And that, perhaps, is the feeling of maturity.