I’m not sure how to feel about a brother who announces big, life-changing events on social media sites rather than call his family first. They announced their engagement that way, and my sister flipped a gasket. The resulting hurt feelings and anger from the siblings is understandable, and yet rather than let his family know the date of the nuptials, again a Facebook post, after the fact. Apparently, my brother got married on Halloween.
I’m not close to my brother; I can count on one hand the number of times we’ve spoken since I moved out of the house when he was ten and our mom up and moved him and my sister across the country. Our lives are not only physically miles apart, his choices are quite different from mine. We don’t have anything in common, but he’s still my brother.
Very little that my brother does surprises me anymore; after all, I found out via a text that he moved, as he was arriving at his new place (he’d neglected to say anything ahead of time), and he couldn’t understand why our sister was so mad about the FB engagement post. But it does make me sad. Perhaps it’s because he’s supposed to be an adult – he did, after all, just turn 32. They have kids. I guess I’d hoped he would have grown up by now and be trying to forge relationships rather than create wider chasms. I tried, for awhile, but the old saying “it takes two to tango” holds true. I could only invest so much emotionally energy when I have many others in my life that can offer a more symbiotic relationship. But though we aren’t close, I’d like to think that a sister ranks higher than a “finally married” post online.
I know social media is all the rage, but I refuse to accept that it is a viable substitution for personal relationships and plain good manners. What happened to letters, phone calls, hell – even an email or text is more personal, at least it shows that you are thinking of someone and want them to know before you throw it out on the internet for anyone to read.
If I had some big milestone coming up in my life like a baby or a wedding or a move several states away, I would sure as hell not rely on social media to get the word out to my family and friends. Not the ones I cared about anyway.
And maybe that’s it, right there.